What should a new manager's first one-to-ones look like?
The one-to-one is the smallest and most neglected management tool. Notes from sessions on how to set it up in the first three months.
The first question I ask clients in Stepping into Management is: "When did you last talk alone with each person in your team?" The answer is usually a performance review or the day a problem came up. A one-to-one is the conversation you have before a problem comes up.
Put it in the calendar and do not cancel
Every two weeks, thirty minutes. New managers see one-to-ones as the first meeting to cancel; the team reads that as "I don't matter". You can reschedule, but do not cancel.
Let the agenda belong to the employee
A one-to-one is not a meeting where you ask for project status. Leave the first five minutes to the employee: "What would you like to talk about today?" In the first few meetings this may be met with silence. Be patient; by the third, real topics start to arrive.
Talk openly with former teammates
Discussing performance today with someone who was your deskmate yesterday is hard. Ignoring it makes it harder. Name the situation in the first meeting: "This is new for both of us. What are you worried might change?" That sentence is often where the relationship is rebuilt.
Do not save up feedback
What managers in the programme say most often is that they delay feedback waiting for "the right moment". The right moment is usually the first one-to-one after the event. Feedback saved up for six months turns into a surprise at the year-end review.
Keep notes
After each meeting write two lines: what you discussed and what you promised. Start the next meeting with that promise. Your team's trust comes not from big conversations but from small promises kept.
